Don’t get me wrong:

Choices are a great parenting tool. ❤️

If choices work well for your family,


Onward and forward

– and check out the Positive Discipline approach to choices.

But, here’s what the experts DON’T tell you about choices as a parenting tool…

Choices don’t work for all – or even most – kids.


Kids today like to lead. 

▪️ And most of the parents I support have strong-willed children.

▪️ Strong-willed kids don’t want your choice.

▪️ Give them 2 choices, and they’ll always come up with a 3rd choice of their own.

▪️ Yet, the internet tells us to

as the #1 parenting tool.

▪️ So if we’re not using choices,

what parenting tools DO we use?

This sequence of Notice + Curiosity is a sequence I’ve been using with almost all of my Happy Home Coaching long-term clients who’ve been with me for 1 -5 years. 

So I wanted to share it with you too. Enjoy!

Notice + Encourage:
A Happy Home Sequence

Step #1: Neutrally notice without judgment of good or bad.

For example:

“I see your assignment was due yesterday, and it hasn’t been turned out.”

“I notice the dishes on the table.”

“I hear you two arguing almost every day.”

✨ The key is to share your Noticing in a calm and connected moment when you’re NOT activated or “triggered” as a parent.

✨ Practice your delivery: Say this in the mirror aloud a few times. Practice neutral, yet confident body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

Step #2 Get Curious:

After you neutrally notice what happened without judgment of good or bad, the next step is to Get Curious.

“What’s your plan?”

“What’s your next step?”

“What’s your timeline to get this done?”

“How can you two figure this out?”

“How can we work as a team?”

✨ Using Curiosity invites leadership and cooperation in your children while also developing problem-solving and critical-thinking skills.

✨ Strong-willed kids loooove Curiosity Questions.

Give this sequence of Noticing + Curiosity a try – and let me know how it goes.

Reply here with any questions – or challenges – in implementing this sequence.

Sending lots of empowered wishes to you and your family.

p.s. Are we connected on Instagram? While Facebook is my social media home, I share more real-time content, helpful tools, and behind-the-scenes over here in my stories. Let’s connect! This week I shared how to use this sequence of Notice + Curiosity.