decide what you will do

Even more than kids's temper tantrums,
I can't stand when parents get 
all in a tizzy in response to their
kids' meltdowns,
power struggles,
or tantrums.
And I really can't stand
when that parent is me.

We all have moments of
engaging in
a negative cycle or
a power struggle
with our kids,
Or having a parental temper tantrum.
This is a great tool to avoid all that.

We all have moments of
engaging in
a negative cycle or
a power struggle
with our kids,
Or having a parental temper tantrum.
This is a great tool to avoid all that.

Stay in your place of positive power,
and calm + confident leadership
to bypass all the craziness,
model cooperation,
and get things done
in a positive way 
in your home.

​How?​

This is a huge one, parents.
It's way too easy to get swirled into our children's behavior,
and engage in reactive power struggles
that never, ever have a positive outcome.

Here's what Positive Discipline says you can do instead:
1) Plan what you will do and notify in advance (Kindly without any meanness, but in a way so your children know you're going to stand by what you're saying because it's in the best interest of the family.)
For example:
"I will help with homework right after school or right after dinner, but not at the the last minute."
"When the toys are put away, then we'll leave for the park."
2) Follow through on your plan with kindness and firmness.
​
My 2 cents on using this tool:
* Accept that tears and upset may be part of the process- so schedule when you have the time and energy to be neutral, present, and affirm hard emotions without getting all reactive.

* When (and only when) everyone is calm, you can talk about what everyone could do differently next time. Your child may want to ask for the way they want to be reminded. You may want to set a limit on how many times you'll remind. This is time to talk it in a respectful, kind, "we're all this together" sort of way. Because you are in this together! Think coaching session or inspiring business meeting. Listen, share, and develop a plan that works best for your fam.

​* The point in using this tool is to step proudly into your leadership role, and do what you need to do in the best interest of the family-- without threatening or bribing and without engaging in those nasty power struggles. No mean dictator allowed. We may fall back on that way of parenting, but it doesn't fly for kids today nor for what we now about the human brain. Think Mandela or Gandi, not Hitler--- and I'm serious when I say that.

* Waiting is often the name of the game here. You may need to use this tool a few times to create a new pattern for your children, and testing may be part of the process.  It's like your children are waiting for you to threaten, yell, bribe and then give in. So don't threaten yell, bribe, or give in. Be strong in what you have decided. Wait patiently, as needed. The goal is to have your children join in to your calm + confident lead.

Questions? Ideas to share? Did you try this tool and it went amazingly or failed miserably? 
Head over here and share a-way.

You got this,
Megan

p.s. This is a Positive Discipline tool from their 52 Parenting Tool Cards, with my 2 cents added in at the end. Get your deck here.
​