Welcome to Week 2 of your Happy Home dedicated to Connection and the foundation for healthy emotional development in your family.
Weeks 1 – 3  are the building blocks and foundational theoretical information to build your Happy Home.
Next week in Week 3, we’ll begin to bring in the specific tools of Connection to support healthy emotional development and expression in your family.
This week, in Week 2: Connection 101, please take the Love Language Quiz here for yourself, your partner and your child.
(Please note: For ages 8 and under, there is no quiz for this age. But, for ages 4-5 and up, I think you can you use the quiz for 9 -12 years.)
We’ll also cover the topics of:
  • Circle of Security,
  • Brain in the Palm of Your Hand,
  • HALTS: Basic Needs,
  • Tools of Connection

In Happy Home, we define Connection as when:
1) you’re connected to your Positive Intent and your ability to see and connect with the best in yourself and in your children, even during challenging moments in parenting OR after challenging moments.
2) We also see Connection as when “your everyday self is LINKED to your highest or best self.” It’s as if your everyday self is superglued to your highest self. So, you’re being guided throughout your everyday moments, even the challenging moments of life – by your best place as a parent and a person – and you have access to all your strengths, wisdom and gifts to work with your daily life challenges.
From a brain science perspective:
Connection is when your prefrontal cortex, or the CEO or your brain, is fully engaged, so you:
1) have access to your critical thinking and emotional intelligence
2) are able to regulate the subcortical regions of your brain, like emotions and the stress response system.
To learn more, please view the 2 minute Brain in the Palm of your Hand Video in the next section.
As a parent, when you’re living in Connection with yourself, you’re able to:
1) access problem solving,
2) have empathy for yourself and your children
3) honor either how strong you are in working with your current challenge OR
stay focused on the positive flip of the challenge into your goal or intention.
When you’re living in Connection with yourself, you’re naturally an amazing parent who can access all the wisdom within you and practice all the Happy Home Positive Discipline tools.
And you’re able to Connect with your children, so they learn how to Connect with themselves. Connection is deep and profound work, and the ultimate truth of our existence.
Yet, the brain science affirms another truth: that all parents will always experience what the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology calls, “ruptures in connection.” Or those times in parenting and in life, where you disconnect from your best self and yell, get upset or withdrawal from your children.
What’s important to know is that Ruptures in Connection are PART of the HUMAN EXPERIENCE, and along with life challenges, ruptures in Connection are some of the greatest teachers because they show what our NEEDS are and where we’re healing unmet needs from your own childhood.
While ruptures in connection and moments of disconnect are where the life learning is, this learning is not easy. We are in this together.
A Happy Home Truth is: Unmet basic needs, including high stress, and unmet needs from one’s own childhood are the root cause of misbehavior and lack of cooperation for both kids and adults. Unmet basic needs are also a root causes of those ruptures in connection, where we disconnect with our highest  selves or prefrontal cortex.
It’s so important to understand this because as a parent it’s easy to blame or shame oneself for feeling or acting negatively towards our children, like it’s a character flaw – and it’s not!
If you’re feeling negative and far from your best self it’s not a character flaw, it simply means you’re experiencing an unmet basic need, you’re stressed, or  you need more support and access to tools. If you’re “flipping your lid” – you are in the right place and we’re here to support your learning and growth with empathy and new tools.