relax it's normal- but this message is serious

​All of us have wondered,
at one time or another,
"Is this normal?"
about our children's behavior.

I want to help ease your mind,
so you can ease up on your kids.
Even tho parenting is wayyyy hard
--- you're here to ENJOY your kids
and help them LEARN,
which includes helping them to reach all
their developmental milestones.

So they can grow into  
happy + healthy adults
--- and in the process,
you can give yourself 
what may have been missing 
from your own childhood.

This is the POWER of parenting,
and why parenting is the most healing
thing in the whole wide world.

If you're wondering,
"Is this normal?"
about your child's behavior,
the vast majority of the time,
children's challenging behavior BEGINS
as normal developmental exploration
so they can LEARN.

​

But, here's the serious part.
If you respond with anger or high frustration
to your child's developmentally appropriate behavior
you can TURN
the developmentally appropriate behavior
into misbehavior.

And very sadly,
The #1 reason children
are punished is for
developmentally appropriate behavior.

And, even scarier:
parents not understanding
what is developmentally appropriate 
behavior is
one of the leading causes
of child abuse.

In other words,
our children are acting in ways
determined by their very biology
to explore their world and learn life skills.
AND THEN THEY ARE PUNISHED.
It's like punishing our children
for breathing or having a heartbeat.

EXCEPT,
that this developmentally-
appropriate behavior is WAY annoying,
may drive us crazy, and trigger the ways
we were punished for the same behavior as kids.

Please, please, please know
that children can do the most annoying,
infuriating things from an adult perspective.
I get it!
And I also get that most of us adults
don't get kids the way we're supposed to.

It is NOT a character fault if you don't get your children's behavior.
It simply means:
 
1) You don't have a background in child development, which most parents don't
unless you work in education, social work, etc.
OR

2) The parenting village is lost,
and lacking peer support and elders you trust,
you literally don't know what's normal
or how to handle developmentally-appropriate "mis"behavior.
OR

3) Your parents didn't know how to support your developmental behaviors, growth, & milestones, or they were too stressed out to support you --- which is a whole lot of us.
OR

4) You're way stressed out, and your patience
and empathy are shot-- which is also of whole lot of us.

If you identify with 1), 2), 3), or 4)
above {or all 4}, 
feel totally perplexed with
your children's behavior,
find yourself getting punitive,
or punishing, 
and then feel bad about it
---here's what you can do.

* Talk to other parents you trust and respect,
with children the same age. I remember when my son was 4 and I was like, "This is crazy. He's so hyper, he's like a puppy." Then we got together with our friends with other 4 year old boys--- and I realized,"Oh phew, they ARE like puppies at this age- at least part of the day."
I can't stress enough the POWER of your PARENTING COMMUNITY to act as a barometer of what's "normal" and what may not be.

* If you don't have a parenting community you love, find one in the virtual world. Hop into my positive parenting community, join this one,  or do a quick search of one you connect with.

* Learn about each developmental stage of life skills your children are working on mastering.
Each age comes with developmentally-appropriate exploration that can look like misbehavior. 
It's normal behavior,
and also can be really annoying. 

Here's some  articles about developmentally appropriate behavior,
so you know what's normal. 
Punishing kids for being kids--- is the #1 way to CREATE misbehavior as a parent.
 
* Check out the developmentally-appropriate behavior by age
in this article, 
which provides a good basic over-view.

* This article is for 5 years and younger, 
including how to manage your expectations
by age.

* A Positive Discipline perspective on misbehavior for preschoolers, but can be applied to all ages.

* Aha! Parenting has the best database of articles by children's ages and stages.

Check out these articles,
and stay tuned for my next post
answering the question:
"I know this is normal behavior,
but what the heck do I DO?"

I know you love your children,
and you want to do the best you can by them.
Please, please, please educate yourself
and get the support you need
--- so you can feel more relaxed
+ confident as a parent,
and enjoy those sweet children
of yours. 

You deserve it, so do your children
--- and the future of humanity
depends upon it.

Let me know if you have questions,
are worried about your children's behavior,
or simply don't know what to do.
We're here to support and uplift one another.

You got this.

All the best,
Megan

p.s. My goal is to give you the parenting foundation you need to raise children who thrive NOW. The time and financial resources you invest TODAY will save your family thousands in future therapy. Please check out my online program beginning next week. Don't go on any longer without the support you need. Early bird reg is extended through this Wednesday. Access the community and tools you need to transform the developmentally appropriate "mis"behavior that is driving you crazy, and have more CONNECTION + COOPERATION in your home. Click here for more info + to register.