it's ok to cry, baby

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a tradition
in my family
is to laugh
until literally 
you are crying
with joy  

it's SO healing
to laugh so hard
the happy tears
roll down your cheeks
(and hopefully these days
no tears are running down
my leg! :) )

laughter + crying
two of the most powerful
ways to release stress

laughter + crying
amidst hard times
return us all to both
our collective shared humanity
+
individual peace & wisdom within

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do you ever
just feel like
you need a good cry?

i remember
there was a time
i could only cry
if i watched a sad movie

now 
life routinely
brings me to tears

i try to have
a good periodic sob

otherwise
all that grief
lives within me
burning deep

eventually
my sadness
mistaken
for anger

when
all i really need
is a good cry

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parenting
teaches us
the power
of our tears

a good cry
to release
high emotions
our children's stress

a good cry
to integrate
the more challenging
experiences of being
a child today

a good cry
teaches
our children
they don't have
to hurt someone else
to feel better

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a good cry
is the best medicine

but as parents today
we weren't taught this
as children

our own parents
usually didn't know
how to support
our own tears
as children

so we didn't grow up
with the message
that crying is
positive + healthy

this is one of
the many healing parts
of being a parent today

in supporting
our children's tears
we're supporting
our own release of
grief + stress

in giving our children
permission to cry
we give ourselves
permission to cry too

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Read more about the health benefits of crying.

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Tips to support your children's healthy development through crying:

1) Simply notice your response:
How do you respond to your children's tears?

Do you feel angry, irritated, annoyed, unsure what to do, or are you able to neutrally sit with and "be with them" as they release their tears?

Most of us have to teach ourselves how to neutrally " be with" kids as they cry. Honor where you are at today - and that it will change with your daily stress levels. You are teaching yourself this valuable life skill of "being with" and neutrally supporting your children' emotions. It's a process and a journey.

2) Practice being with your child and giving permission to cry:

If we are uncomfortable, try to stop your kids from crying, or cave in on your own boundaries or family rules because your children are crying - then children learn that crying is bad, they may "stuff" their tears or turn to anger, or they may learn how to "manipulate" parents with high emotions.

Instead, try repeating to yourself, "Crying is healthy. I give my children permission to cry." (Or repeat some positive crying affirmation that speaks to you.)

Next, in a calm and connected moment, let your children know it's ok to cry. You can share some crying science with them. And let them know you are trying to be with them and support them when they cry. You can even developing a crying plan of action of what your children CAN DO when they cry and what YOU CAN DO to support them.

Next, try out this "being with" and neutrally supporting your children through the tears of life. 

Often, giving permission to cry will initially intensify our children's tears, but result in shorter crying sessions and then less frequent, but healthy and emotionally supported crying.

3) Be gentle with yourself - this is parenting as healing.
Use your own best judgement and intuition when supporting your children's tears. Seek professional guidance and support if you feel very triggered or are reacting in anger or shutting down to your children's tears. You can schedule a complementary exploratory session with me here.

And remember, supporting our children's tears and healthy emotional release is healing your own childhood - and the world.

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You Got This.

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