Megan Barella
  • Home
  • Happy Home Challenge
  • Praise
  • Coaching
  • About

Grandma Mary's Birthday

10/29/2014

0 Comments

 
Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 64. It's her first birthday not being here. I've felt a little bit of everything today. Sad of course. Inspired I am here alive. Thankful for all the gifts she gave me: love of friends & family, the Earth, art, and laughter.  I cried a lot looking through photos of her on my computer today. Searching for that perfect picture to post. Realizing I don't have one on my computer, for which I cried a different type of tears.  

As one friend said, "losing your mom is like losing your way, no matter how old you are." True that. Since I lived far away from my mom the last 15 years, our relationship was mostly over the phone. I miss those lifeline phone calls. She was the only person I could call to chat before 7 am. She was always supportive of me. She worried, but what mom doesn't? I'm learning the art of practicing trust & empowerment with my own child. 

A few weeks ago, I really wanted to talk to her.  Hear her voice. My mom was a great listener. I called her cell. Just to see. You never know; maybe she'd answer. Or I'd have some great conversation with a stranger. "This person is currently unavailable," was what I got. Not even temporarily unavailable. I tried. But it's a different kind of communication to connect with her now.

This week she has been with me, more than ever since she passed away. I know in my heart that she is 100 % there for me. It's a matter of me unlocking my fears & pain to be able to connect with her.  Of me forgiving her. Forgiveness is one of the many life themes I am working on. Still. It gets tiring. This work of forgiveness. Haven't I done enough forgiveness in my life? When can I be done?  Like we are ever done with forgiveness.  And I know as forgive her, I'm able to listen to all she has to teach me and receive her gifts. 

My mom shared many gifts with me today.

  • This card sits right in front of my computer screen, so I see it while I type. 

Picture

My sister and I sent this to our mom for her birthday right before my son was born six years ago. It is such a powerful statement of how I feel about my life, your life, and every person's life. If I can do my small part to support people in following their hearts, I will have done something for the world. And the biggest piece of that is living my own life purpose, doing in my heart what I know I am meant to do.

  • Gratitude, too. Being thankful for my life. Because I really do love my life. Even though sometimes I forget.  Today I met with a parent through my Parenting Ally program who reminded me the importance of being thankful.  She is reading Maya Angelou's latest book, which is autobiographical. (I forgot to ask her for the title. When I did a google search for the book, I found Mom & Me & Mom about Maya Angelou's relationship with her own mother.  I wonder if this is it?)  Yes, being thankful.  What the parent shared from the book  is the power of having gratitude for the simple things that are actually huge, and that we often take for granted. I have the ability to write this post. I can think. I can get up and walk into the kitchen. So much to be thankful for. Truly. 

  • A beautiful, inspiring message from Lauryn Hill unstuck my writer's block today.   Powerful three minutes.  Give it a listen.

  • A walk in the woods. Fall was my mom's favorite time of year. The leaves are still so beautiful here in Oregon. Not like New York, but pretty still.

Picture


























  • Back to looking for a picture of my mom.  I want to find one that captures her essence. Then I remember one of my all time favorite picture of my mom is on Facebook. Her senior picture.


Picture

When she had so much life in her. Beautiful lady. Inside and out.  Miss her so. Happy Birthday, Mom. Thanks for all the gifts.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Getting To Gold
    Positive Parenting
    Reflections
    Summer Magic

    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

    Picture
    Photo by J Jean Portraits

    Archives

    October 2020
    September 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Happy Home Challenge
  • Praise
  • Coaching
  • About