Megan Barella
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don't make me look like a bad parent

3/19/2018

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Picture

you know those times
you're at...
a birthday party
school event
or even the grocery store
and your kids pick
that moment
to act up
to do the very behavior
that you're at a loss
for how to guide
 

testing your parenting skills
in front of a room full of people
is fun right?


of course
kids are just being kids
it's up to us how we respond
of course

yet
"mis"behaving children in public
is one of those parental nightmares
none of us are immune to
we can all relate to this dilemma


the illusion of the "perfect parent"
crumbling away before our very eyes
because our children 
"made us look bad"
plagues us all


and guess what?
there's no such thing
as a perfect parent 
or a perfect child
we all mess up
and unfortunately
sometimes it will be in public

when we can give ourselves + our kids
that grace to be human
we can let go of...
embarrassment

anger
or resentment
with our children


and instead
we can be ready to support
the embracing of imperfections
first in ourselves
then in our fellow parents + children

so we all learn and grow together

but misbehaving kids in public
wow.oh.wow.
it's not easy
so here's some tips + tools
to stay calm + empowered:


#1 know + trust in your heart that
we ALL experience parenting challenges

every.single.parent on planet earth

no parent is ever off the hook
with parenting challenges
we all experience them
why?

because the essence of parenting
isn't saying or doing the "right thing"
but rather parenting is designed
to help us grow both individually
and collectively as a human race

in order to grow + evolve
we have to mess up
our mistakes are the road to growth
embracing our imperfections
leads to self-acceptance
+
ultimately makes our lives easier
because we're not judging ourselves
with every move
+
every second in a day

Picture

#2 check those basic needs
meet the need 
preventatively
to transform the misbehavior


Hungry
Angry (positive outlets to express high emotions)
Lonely (connection to self + others)
Tired
Sick/ Stressed

these basic needs
when they are unmet
are the root cause of "mis"behavior
both ours + our children's

one of the best ways
to avoid parental embarrassment in public
is to make sure those basic needs are met!

bring well-fed + well-rested children
to the grocery store

if your grade schooler had birthday cake
but no lunch + is way party over-stimulated
watch out

meeting those basic needs preventatively
is always best
but not always humanely possible
at the least
anticipate when problem behavior
may begin + try to may a graceful exit
before it does

Picture

#3 take space away from watching eyes
to remind your child of expectations


it's hard to parent
when there's performance pressure 
because other people are watching

take the pressure off
you + your kiddos
by speaking to your children
alone or in a different room
when they need reminders

it might not always be possible
to take this time alone with your child
but if it's easy to do
definitely
take this space alone
with your child

Picture

#4 support other parents
we all know what it feels like
to struggle as a parent
in public
so let's keep our eyes out
for one another

when you see a parent
having a hard time
offer them an empathetic smile
or even a helping hand
let them know
you've been there too
+
it's all ok
because....

Picture

we're all human
learning + growing
from our mistakes
and
helping one another in the process

we support you

Picture

p.s Heart-felt thanks to everyone who scheduled their 20 minute complementary coaching call. It's been a joy to speak with you all!  I hope the positive parenting tools are most helpful to your family. And please remember: when you share your challenges it helps uplift others. This is the power of community. If you haven't had a change to schedule your session here, please reply to this email right away to make sure your spot is saved.

p.s.s. When I'm done with all 20 of the complementary coaching calls, I'll be compiling parents' favorite tools in a free webinar... stay tuned for more details!
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    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

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    Photo by J Jean Portraits

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