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bugs - n- wishes

4/15/2019

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Picture

do you have
an inner dragon
the fire breathing
dragon parent or teacher
popping up
when you
override
your boundaries
suppressing
your truth + needs

false attempt
to fit some
false illusion
"to be perfect"
exploding 
in your face

because
you tried
to hide
what you feel
from your kids

but truth 
is truth
when you don't
speak your truth
is blows up
in your face

what if 
you tamed
your inner dragon
by simply
saying what
you are feeling


a couple weeks ago
i completed
the positive discipline

for early childhood
educators training

here's a pic
from the training
with my mentors
in positive discipline
i trained with them
8 years ago
(when i had a 2 year old!)
for my initial 
positive discipline
certification
and here we are
almost a decade later

Picture

one of my
fav tools
from the training
is the tool of
bugs and wishes
also known as
using "I" messages

according to
positive discipline
we communicate
our inner truth
thru non verbal
communication
aka "eye messages"

for example
as a parent
or teacher
you might
be trying 
your best 
to hold in
your anger
frustration
irritation
sadness

you might 
speak words
that don't align
with your 
inner truth

but 
your kids
are paying 
more attention
to your nonverbals
messages
you give with
your face 
tone of voice
body language

when we try 
to hide
our inner truth
it sends
the message
to our kids
that they 
also have to 
hide
their feelings

it also
sets us up 
to repress
what we're 
feeling
wishing
wanting
until 
we explode

when you
repress
or deny
your true feeling
and desires
your inner dragon
is now running 
the show
breathing 
fire on all
who cross your path
in that moment


THERE IS ANOTHER WAY....

Picture

with
bugs and wishes
it's simple
you just say it
like it is
- BEFORE you explode

the sentence starter is


"It bugs me when _____
and
I wish you would ____ instead."


easy peasy
because
you are simply
SAYING WHAT YOU FEEL!
so simple
so revolutionary

when i first
went to use
bugs and wishes
i doubted it

i thought 
the tool
might feel
mean
or negative
to use

i thought
my son
might feel attacked
but nope
bugs and wishes
is truly liberating

bugs and wishes is a tool to:
* speak your truth
BEFORE you explode

* communicate
clearly to your children
how you feel & what 
you want them to do

* teach your children
it is a-okay to feel
the BIG feelings,
speak them, and
then focus on
what we DO want

* develop socio-emotional
intelligence in your children
as you're modeling
syncing up your inner experiences,
emotions, non-verbal communication
and words to all send
the same message


​Bugs and Wishes Tool:


Picture

real life examples
of bugs and wishes
i used with my son
this week:
(we are working on
cooperation around
responsibilities and routines)

"It bugs me when I'm getting ready for the day and you are still reading. I wish you would get your lunch together instead."

"It bugs me when I repeat myself many times and I wish you would finish getting ready instead." 

my son's response?
seriously i could see
him thinking, "oh ok"
and he moved right
into action on my "wish"
for him

it's so important
to remember
kids are in their own world
they don't mean to be defiant
and they need reminders
in a way they can understand
bugs and wishes is one
tool that does just that

the key to bugs and wishes?
somewhat neutral
tone of voice
which means
you have to
use this tool 
BEFORE your
inner dragon kicks in
and at the first sign
of irritation

enjoy using
this tool
of bugs and wishes
to transform
your inner dragon
teaches your children
emotional intelligence
and helps you
get more cooperation 


​How will you use Bugs and Wishes this week?


Picture
Grace Photography

Hope to see you at one of my upcoming events!

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    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

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