Megan Barella
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bruised but not broken: transforming your emotional wounds to your gifts

5/28/2018

2 Comments

 
Picture

i remember clearly
the first time
i yelled at my son

he was 3 1/2
and he looked
at me
he gave a confused laugh
thinking it was a joke

i made it
a good long stretch
without accessing
my mother's meanness

bless her heart
loved her dearly
but she could be mean
like it was nobody's business

the stress of life
got me

my son had already
witnessed domestic violence
we left many times
going to my sister's
or friends' houses
there was the time
i spent my 36 birthday
in the domestic violence shelter

these are stories
i don't tell often
but they are a part of me
just like my father's
mental illness + abuse

just like watching my mom
die from cancer + chemo
leaving me with no answers
of how she left this abuse
occur for over a  decade
when i was kid

bruised 
but 
not
broken

scars
no 
longer
wounds
seeping
from
the 
past

Picture

my story
my past
i thought
maybe
just
maybe

i could escape
just be 
a happy mom
with
a happy kid

i kept it all together
til i started to crumble
til i had nothing
left to give
stress building
til it hit
a breaking point

til it all fell apart
anyway...

* my ex left me
* my son + i
moved back to ny
to care for my mom
* my father died
in his sleep in a halfway house
* my mom died at home
surrounded by family

i couldn't deal
i did so much yelling
i reacted in anger
to my kid being a kid

my son became
so aggressive
emotional
breakdowns
outbursts
meltdowns

people
began to worry 
about us
i worried
about us

then 
it was done
i call it
my year of

Picture

it was the year
i had to go
so deep
just
to stay afloat

it was the year
i developed
the tools
most parent educators
never learn


life taught me
the alchemy
of taking 
the hardest emotions
in our lives
in our children's lives

grief + anger
and 
turning this hard stuff
into
our places
of power
strength
peace 
calm
our emotional gifts

i'm sharing this emotional transformation with you.

Picture

we can't do
this work alone

together
we can do
this magic
of transforming
emotional breakdowns
to emotional breakthroughs

we can decrease
the frequency + intensity
of emotional breakdowns
in your family
while building a well
of emotional resiliency
from the inside out
to last a lifetime

Click here to learn more about calm the storm.

You Got This.


Picture
2 Comments
Toni
5/29/2018 02:59:36 pm

Megan, this is beautifully written from your heart. Thank you for your courage and openness in sharing this.

Love,
Toni

Reply
Elyse
6/1/2018 10:27:37 am

You are amazing!

Reply



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    Categories

    All
    Getting To Gold
    Positive Parenting
    Reflections
    Summer Magic

    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

    Picture
    Photo by J Jean Portraits

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