i went to snap a pic on my phone today
3 photos were there
what???
all 1,000 pics
that were there
this am
missing
​poof
gone
no copy anywhere
by this afternoon

this week
an old friend from high school
a good friend of my good friends
passed away
poof 
gone
missing
just like that

unapologetically
hilarious & goofy
​he was
known for his bass
back in the day
you heard him
before you saw him
he left behind
two small children
and one on the way

why couldn't time stop for him
or his little ones
so they'd know their daddy
now they'll grow up
missing

this week
driving thru
the town
i called home
for 5 years
on my way
to class

missing
i was
the time i lived
there
alone
with my son
spirit of my teachers
the peace
thru hard times
breaking free 
from my past

missing
i was 
that time
in my life
i'll never get back
poof
gone
a part of me always
but missing
time 
past

but i'm still here
even if i lost my photos
loved ones moved away
chapters
closed

my old friend
he's gone
missing
forever
from
life

life
fleeting
it goes
keeps going
no matter
what 
until it doesn't

the worst thing
to miss
is right now
to let time
pass by
without
enjoying
appreciating
all that is
missing
today
while we're living it

no point
in missing
today
because
one day
you'll 
be missing
today
anyways

life
​it's yours
for the living
​

0% of parents
have no struggles.

Every parent
struggles
somehow,
in some way.

So as you're working with 
your parenting challenges,
remember you're  not alone.
​We're all learning and growing together.

If we know every parent struggles,
and struggling helps us grow,
here's some pointers to maximize
the positive from your struggles.
So your challenges bring you UP,
not down.

Step #1: Say, "this is hard or challenging,"
either to yourself or to someone  who's supportive to you.
We gotta own it to grow from it.
Getting weighed down by parenting guilt, shame, or denial
might be part of your process, but don't get stuck there.
Admitting and acknowledging
that life is hard right now
gives you the traction to change it.

Step #2: Get feeling specific.
"This is hard/challenging because I feel ______ when
my child does this ______."
For an extensive list of feelings, click here
and scroll down to the second page.

When you identify the feeling word with your lived experience,
you brain releases feel-good hormones.

It's like saying to yourself, "Yeah, I see you"
Honoring what you're feeling,
without judgement
---It's tres importante,
and your jump start to change.

Step #3: When do you feel like a good parent?
Bring your attention to when you feel like a good parent.
When are the times your child cooperates with you?
Is it in the morning, or on the weekend?
After you've had quality together time?
When your little one has had time outside or
is getting ready to go somewhere she/he wants to go?
And maybe right now,
your child isn't cooperating with you at all.

Now notice what you are saying or doing
when you feel like a good parent?
Are you speaking calmly or assertively?
Have you gotten down on your child's level,
and are making eye contact?
Are you using humor or play?
If you can't think of a time
when you feel like a good parent,
then today,
be on the look-out for that good parent feeling,
Notice when it's happening and what you're doing,
even if it's just a few seconds of good parent feelin'.
Or if parenting is just feeling negative these days,
honor that too.

4) Bring the good parent feelings to your current challenge.
When you're stressed as a parent, the stress can take over.
And all your actions and reactions to discipline (teach) your children
came from this place of s-t-r-e-s-s.

One way to interrupt the stress cycle is to consciously work to
bring the tone of voice, body language and posture, things you'd say,
and other communication strategies of your feeling good parenting self
to your current challenge.

This may seem counter-intuitive to the "old way."
If my child is misbehaving, why should I be nice?
Won't I be faking it?

Well, here's the deal:
If you or your children are struggling,
you need even more kindness, understanding, and positivity
to get you through.
This doesn't mean you're a push-over,
or not being true to yourself.

It does mean you're utilizing your most effective
parenting strategies when you or your children
need them most.
The "burn to learn" thinking is from the past
And doesn't that make most sense?


Burn to learn,
punishment,
and making you or your children feel bad
isn't the way to motivate either of you
to positive behavior.

So,
Say it's hard and truly acknowledge this challenge.
Put a feeling word to your current struggle.
Then notice deeply when you feel like a good parent.
And bring those good parent feelings, actions & thoughts to your current situation.

For every parent struggles.
You're not alone.
We're here to support one another.
To learn and grow together.
You got this.

With love,
Megan

Mid August. 
Time to squeeze out the last bit o' summer.
And then soak it up.
Quick.

Back to School's just
around the corner.
So forget those dishes
and get out there
in that sunshine! 

(Join my FB Group here to access
many of the Summer Magic 2016
tools
to get the most out of your August!)

Hope your summer has been full
of lots of family magic.
Fun in the sun.
Fresh fruits & veggies.
Swimming.
And long days of lovin the light.

Now's a good time
to take inventory.
Good ol' summer inventory.

How many days of summer vacation are left?

What are 1-3 things you still want to do,
or want to do again?

Simple things that are most important to you.
Picnic on the lawn.
Trip to the swimming pool.
Star gazing. 
Concert in the park.

Make your list.
Then make it happen.
Get it on the calendar.
Invite some friends.
And soak up that Summer Magic 2016
while it's still with us.
​

i was messaging with one of the moms
​in my community
this positive playtime mama
​aren't they cute?

she told me
she's taking the rest of summer
off from facebook
to enjoy summer with her kids

hhhmmmmm.....
that got me thinking

not only how much time i'v spent scrolling
but how much i'm not enjoying scrolling
lately

i'm only doing it 
when i'm so tired
and have no energy
for anything else

instead of resting
or sleeping
i'm scrolling

so when she said she got off fb
(and was able to keep messenger)
i got really excited
already feeling liberated

that my friends
was my 1st cue.....

the great thing about social media
is it connects us with humanity
babies growing up
and being born
weddings
anniversaries
deaths and sufferings too

we are one people
social media has the power
to connect us all

but we control it

as soon as it feels like

our phones are controlling us

the tables have turned

and i wonder 
is it a good thing?
is there balance?
where's the moderation?
and what are we modeling 
for our children?

for me 
it's a nagging feeling
like my phone
is always calling me
to look
just a minute
just one more post
just just just

one of the moms
in the power to the parents group 
i run to kick off the new year 
in parenting
said a child described
his mom on the phone
like she was frozen

frozen on a phone
ugh
is that part of parenting today?

my son made me a little note
with me on my phone
and a line through it
with a big NO!
sigh

for me facebook 
starts off as the parenting work
i love
but it's hard to stop there

whether i'm responding to a parent
or stuck scrolling
saying
"one more minute"
to my son
it gets old
for both of us

in my coaching work
around media
i work most often with moms
and developing a media plan for them
(not their kids)

let's face it
social media is some strong medicine
that can turn addicting quick
especially under the demands + isolation
of modern motherhood

and this august
i have some serious deadlines
to meet as i'm developing
my programming for parents
who are child abuse survivors

some of the most important work 
i have to offer the next generation
and work that makes me anxious
and that i often want to avoid
and scrolling is one way i can
guarantee i'll get nothing done
on the getting to gold project

so this month
august 2016
i've declared media free for me

​so i can enjoy the rest of summer with my son
to give him
- not my phone-
my focus
to feel free from a little device
for 30 days
and into the present moment
of life around me

and meet some big deadlines
in my work to transform
​the intergenerational cycle
of child abuse