Megan Barella
  • Home
  • Happy Home Challenge
  • The Happy Home Mastermind
  • Praise
  • Coaching
  • About

bruised but not broken: transforming your emotional wounds to your gifts

5/28/2018

2 Comments

 
Picture

i remember clearly
the first time
i yelled at my son

he was 3 1/2
and he looked
at me
he gave a confused laugh
thinking it was a joke

i made it
a good long stretch
without accessing
my mother's meanness

bless her heart
loved her dearly
but she could be mean
like it was nobody's business

the stress of life
got me

my son had already
witnessed domestic violence
we left many times
going to my sister's
or friends' houses
there was the time
i spent my 36 birthday
in the domestic violence shelter

these are stories
i don't tell often
but they are a part of me
just like my father's
mental illness + abuse

just like watching my mom
die from cancer + chemo
leaving me with no answers
of how she left this abuse
occur for over a  decade
when i was kid

bruised 
but 
not
broken

scars
no 
longer
wounds
seeping
from
the 
past

Picture

my story
my past
i thought
maybe
just
maybe

i could escape
just be 
a happy mom
with
a happy kid

i kept it all together
til i started to crumble
til i had nothing
left to give
stress building
til it hit
a breaking point

til it all fell apart
anyway...

* my ex left me
* my son + i
moved back to ny
to care for my mom
* my father died
in his sleep in a halfway house
* my mom died at home
surrounded by family

i couldn't deal
i did so much yelling
i reacted in anger
to my kid being a kid

my son became
so aggressive
emotional
breakdowns
outbursts
meltdowns

people
began to worry 
about us
i worried
about us

then 
it was done
i call it
my year of

Picture

it was the year
i had to go
so deep
just
to stay afloat

it was the year
i developed
the tools
most parent educators
never learn


life taught me
the alchemy
of taking 
the hardest emotions
in our lives
in our children's lives

grief + anger
and 
turning this hard stuff
into
our places
of power
strength
peace 
calm
our emotional gifts

i'm sharing this emotional transformation with you.

Picture

we can't do
this work alone

together
we can do
this magic
of transforming
emotional breakdowns
to emotional breakthroughs

we can decrease
the frequency + intensity
of emotional breakdowns
in your family
while building a well
of emotional resiliency
from the inside out
to last a lifetime

Click here to learn more about calm the storm.

You Got This.


Picture
2 Comments

you are an emotional sanctuary

5/21/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture

​one of the most
complicated
beautiful
+
painful
aspects
of being human
is our emotions

sitting at
my friend's funeral
an elder
spoke about
grief
being the hardest
emotion to feel

those of us
who have lost
a loved one
know the suffocating
feeling of loss

but it's not
just grief + loss
that's hard to feel
being alive 
truly living
* being a parent *
all take great courage

Picture

​the very nature
of being alive
is a mixed bag
of crazy high + low
emotions

yet
every single one of us
has an emotional equilibrium
it's like an inner sanctuary
that allows us
to feel good within
while also riding
the up's + down's of life

the problem?
the very nature
of modern society
+
the way most of us
were parented
warped
our inner emotional sanctuaries

our emotional gifts
became
emotional burdens

we weren't given
the space + support
to integrate
to ride the wave of
the big feelings of life

we got stuck
in anger or sadness
or when we feel
these emotions
it feels so horribly awful
we'll do anything
to make them stop

and when our children
feel + express
those big + hard
emotions of life

it triggers
something
so primal
painful
+
overwhelming
in ourselves
we'll do anything
to make it stop

Picture

after working
with over 500 families
in the last 7 years

i can honestly say
about 10%
of parents today
were raised
in a way
that developed
our emotional sanctuaries

for the other 90% of us
we're teaching ourselves
this big work
of developing
our emotional sanctuaries
within ourselves as adults


we can't do this work alone

if you know
deep in your heart
one of the hardest parts
of being human
+
a parent today is
how to deal
support
integrate
the high emotions
of life
please know

1) you're not alone
the vast majority
of us are working 
on this

2) you can create
an emotional sanctuary
in your life
so the big emotions
in your family are held
don't over-take you
but instead become
a place of strength

creating this
emotional
sanctuary
in your family
is the work
of being human
+
a parent today

it's the work
we'll do together
in calm the storm
beginning june 4th

and it's your
birthright.

Picture


​You Got This.


Picture

Read More About Calm the Storm here.

Picture

0 Comments

every day is mother's day

5/13/2018

4 Comments

 
Picture

today
you may get
breakfast in bed
a dozen roses
a  nice massage

or the guy
in the grocery store 
might be the only person
to wish you
happy mother's day

you might be surrounded
by friends + family
feeling like a queen
or you might be mourning
the loss of your mother
or your children
or maybe you never
really have had a mother


whatever your truth is
today we honor you
for giving
every day
all day
we honor you
for all you've overcome
in your life
we honor you
for doing the hard stuff


life is no
hallmark holiday
so today
i'm wishing you
the simple strength
to make today
your own holiday

don't wait
for anyone
to remind you
how amazing 
you are
or to do something 
special for you

create your own magic
because you deserve it

Picture

the best
mother's day gift
you can ever give yourself is
* to make room
in your life
for your own happiness
* to want to feel good
and
* to do the little things
every day that meet your needs

so today if..
you need to cry 
you want to create
your own mother's day celebration
you pick wildflowers
for yourself
and eat your favorite foods
or visit your favorite place
that brings you peace
just do it
don't want for someone else
to show you
that everyday....

Picture

​every single day is
mother's day
and today
we give
extra
extra
thanks + praise
as we celebrate
you
beautiful you

You Got This.

Picture
4 Comments

grow the good stuff

5/7/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture

i lay awake...
thinking about everything
i did wrong
+
didn't get to do
that day

i get panicky
like i want a "do over"
but there is no re-do
for my life at 2 am

this negative overwhelm
seems to happen
when i have coffee after 1 pm
but also i know
from a survival perspective
the negativity bias
is a real deal

the negative can hijack our lives
especially when we're stressed
if we're not careful + conscious
to insulate ourselves
with the positive

Picture

in positive playtime 
we've been talking
positive intent

Picture

i don't mean
going through life
with rose colored glasses

because
that negative
those stress + challenges
of life
are very real

but what i do mean is...


throughout your day
is woven a string 
of the most beautiful occurrences

these gems of life
sit right next
to all the negative stuff

don't let your gems
be overshadowed
by all the crazy hard stuff of life 


how to ensure
the scales
of your life
are tipped
to the positive?

Picture

​the #1 way to create 
MORE positivity + goodness
in your life?

grow all the good stuff
that's already there
in your life
to tip the scales
in the teeter totter 
of life
​to the positive


think about
all the good things
that day
all the things
that went right
when you were in the love
when you accomplished stuff
when you felt good
+
were enjoying
your life life


create that positivity loop
of your day
+
play it on repeat
to shut down
your negative thinking
+
reclaim your positivity bias
 


as i lay awake
that night at 2 am
feeling like a failure
i did just that
​
i grew the good stuff
to hijack the negative
i played the positive
from my day 
on repeat
creating a posivitiy bias
that finally lulled me to sleep

i know it's not always easy
but you can do it too
when you feel
all negative
full of doubt or worry
when the hard stuff
in life
is playing on repeat
+
your negativity bias
has hijacked your reality

you can stop
that negativity train
by playing
all the positive 
from your day + your life
on repeat
til you believe it

You Got This.

Picture
0 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Getting To Gold
    Positive Parenting
    Reflections
    Summer Magic

    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

    Picture
    Photo by J Jean Portraits

    Archives

    October 2020
    September 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Happy Home Challenge
  • The Happy Home Mastermind
  • Praise
  • Coaching
  • About