 i remember clearly the first time i yelled at my son he was 3 1/2 and he looked at me he gave a confused laugh thinking it was a joke i made it a good long stretch without accessing my mother's meanness bless her heart loved her dearly but she could be mean like it was nobody's business the stress of life got me my son had already witnessed domestic violence we left many times going to my sister's or friends' houses there was the time i spent my 36 birthday in the domestic violence shelter these are stories i don't tell often but they are a part of me just like my father's mental illness + abuse just like watching my mom die from cancer + chemo leaving me with no answers of how she left this abuse occur for over a decade when i was kid bruised but not broken scars no longer wounds seeping from the past  my story my past i thought maybe just maybe i could escape just be a happy mom with a happy kid i kept it all together til i started to crumble til i had nothing left to give stress building til it hit a breaking point til it all fell apart anyway... * my ex left me * my son + i moved back to ny to care for my mom * my father died in his sleep in a halfway house * my mom died at home surrounded by family i couldn't deal i did so much yelling i reacted in anger to my kid being a kid my son became so aggressive emotional breakdowns outbursts meltdowns people began to worry about us i worried about us then it was done i call it my year of  it was the year i had to go so deep just to stay afloat it was the year i developed the tools most parent educators never learn life taught me the alchemy of taking the hardest emotions in our lives in our children's lives grief + anger and turning this hard stuff into our places of power strength peace calm our emotional gifts  we can't do this work alone together we can do this magic of transforming emotional breakdowns to emotional breakthroughs we can decrease the frequency + intensity of emotional breakdowns in your family while building a well of emotional resiliency from the inside out to last a lifetime You Got This.
2 Comments
 one of the most complicated beautiful + painful aspects of being human is our emotions sitting at my friend's funeral an elder spoke about grief being the hardest emotion to feel those of us who have lost a loved one know the suffocating feeling of loss but it's not just grief + loss that's hard to feel being alive truly living * being a parent * all take great courage  the very nature of being alive is a mixed bag of crazy high + low emotions yet every single one of us has an emotional equilibrium it's like an inner sanctuary that allows us to feel good within while also riding the up's + down's of life the problem? the very nature of modern society + the way most of us were parented warped our inner emotional sanctuaries our emotional gifts became emotional burdens we weren't given the space + support to integrate to ride the wave of the big feelings of life we got stuck in anger or sadness or when we feel these emotions it feels so horribly awful we'll do anything to make them stop and when our children feel + express those big + hard emotions of life it triggers something so primal painful + overwhelming in ourselves we'll do anything to make it stop  after working with over 500 families in the last 7 years i can honestly say about 10% of parents today were raised in a way that developed our emotional sanctuaries for the other 90% of us we're teaching ourselves this big work of developing our emotional sanctuaries within ourselves as adults we can't do this work alone if you know deep in your heart one of the hardest parts of being human + a parent today is how to deal support integrate the high emotions of life please know 1) you're not alone the vast majority of us are working on this 2) you can create an emotional sanctuary in your life so the big emotions in your family are held don't over-take you but instead become a place of strength creating this emotional sanctuary in your family is the work of being human + a parent today it's the work we'll do together in calm the storm beginning june 4th and it's your birthright. 
|
Mama Megan
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family! 
Photo by J Jean Portraits
Archives
September 2020
|
RSS Feed