Megan Barella
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connection before correction

4/30/2018

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it was a saturday morning
i had just finished up
a 3-week work stretch
this was my first day
off in 3 weeks!!

i love saturday mornings
so with grand plans
of cooking with my son
and sprucing up his room

i looked over at my little guy
who was a grumpy puddle
of mush on the couch
i couldn't help
but feel resentful

my first day off in weeks
and my son was so
NOT on board
with my master plan

it could have easily
gone downhill from there
with power struggles + yelling

it's easy to forget
in everyday moments
as parents
that we have conscious choice


in positive parenting
we have CHOICE + TOOLS
to nurture ourselves + our children
to transform challenging interactions
to stay in the love 
of Connection + Cooperation


but
no doubt
it takes work

in this moment
i wanted my son to buck up
to get on board with my plans
to follow my directions :)

but reality called
in the form of
a grumpy kid on the couch
so instead of MY idea
of saturday morning....

i took it back to halts
my son was tired + lonely
so we met his need for connection
with a game of battleship
(that i had to consciously choose to enjoy)
+
i lowered my expectations
for myself, him & the morning 
because he didn't get much sleep
the night before

we never got
to cooking + cleaning his room
but after we reconnected
he was ready for simple
redirection + correction

he tidied up the living room
and took out the trash & recycling

most importantly

WE STAYED IN THE LOVE
my main accomplishment
was no power struggles
no yelling
instead
we strengthened our Connection
through meeting his basic needs
and we got baby step tasks done


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i'm not saying it's easy
or that any of us will ever
be "perfect" or 100%

but
truth is
power struggles + yelling
just feel yucky
and are an addictive cycle
most of us are trying to change

plus
when we fall into the negative
as parents
it can take ssssooo long
to get back on track
with ourselves + our kids
that at some point
staying in the love
meeting basic needs
+
connecting before correcting
all become WAY easier
than power struggles + yelling

that's my goal
for you
+
for all of us
to get to that point
where the positive
becomes SO MUCH easier
than the negative


little by little
baby step by baby step
we can do it
You Got This.


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it's all about love

4/22/2018

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when it comes down to it
all we want
is to love our kids
to have it all be that simple

but sadly
life gets in the way
of parenting from
that place of love

here's some tips + tools
from my recent workshop
it's all about love  
to parent from
that place of love
- and to bring you
back to the love
when life gets in the way

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#1 hand over heart
this tool from the self acceptance project
is one of my personal
#1 tools in parenting
and in life

i use hand over heart
everyday
to keep me in my center
+ connected to what's most important
to bring me back to the love
when life leads me astray

it's easy-peasy simple
take your right hand
put it over your heart
take 3 deep breaths
picture your heart 
beating stronger + stronger
radiating out to your fingers + toes

now step back into your life
connecting to the power
of your heart

this tool is a 30 second reboot
to parent - and live-
from your heart


#2 i need a hug
this is a change-the-moment
positive discipline tool

in the old way of discipline
we punish children
for "being bad"

in the new way of discipline
we help children
feel better
so they can do better


the power of this tool
is not asking your child
"can i have a hug?"

but
rather letting your child
know you need a hug
which activates 
their natural tendency
to be helpful

the hug connects
you both
and you're hopefully
able to move forward
in a more positive direction
after a good hug

read more about the health benefits
of hugging here


#3 remember the heart is a mini-brain
live from your heart
is a saying for a reason

your heart-brain
contains 40,000 neurons
designed to help you...
* soothe + transform stress
* live from your personal power
* stay connected to what's
most important in your life

our goal is to keep our hearts
synced up with our minds so: 
--> there is
coherency + communication
between the two
--> you can live from your love
everyday
--> your heart can help
you get through the harder stuff
in parenting + in life 

would you like to learn more
about your heart + the power of love?

check out more
L-O-V-E
resources
on my pinterest board
here

learn more about accessing
your heart's intuition
with heartmath

and utilize the tools
of hand over heart
+
i need a hug
to help keep
you and your family
in the love 
everyday

You Got This.


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sibling conflict

4/15/2018

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sibling conflict
is one of the main challenges
parents face

here's some tips + tools to
help get you through
stay calm
+
help your kids thrive


#1 keep your eye on the big picture
life-long friendships is the goal
your kids might be fighting
everyday
but try picturing them at 25
as best friends
holding this big picture vision
can help you get thru the
hard moments of sibling fights
everyday


#2 know yourself + know your kids
feeling triggered by your children?
take this temperament rating scale
to help you get clear on
your place of connection + challenge
with each of your kids
(it says infant-toddler, but it works
for children of all ages)


#3 put them in the same boat
you're not a police officer
you're not a judge
you don't have to determine
who is right or wrong
taking sides
makes everything worse
and interferes with the development
of lifelong friendships
read more here about this tool


#4 sibling fights develop life skills
using curiosity questions
develops problem-solving
logical thinking
+
cooperation skills
and puts responsibility
for sibling fights
back in the hands of your children

please remember: 
sibling conflicts
is a #1 challenge in parenting
so talk to other parents
to learn from one another
you aren't alone!
may the positive parenting force
be with you 

You Got This.


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circle of community

4/9/2018

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the #1 thing
we do together
as a positive parenting
​
community + movement
​
we bring out the best
in one another
we believe in
one another's goodness


community is our foundation
community is our why
community makes life
easier + worthwhile + more fun

we're meant to be parenting
in community
it's our human design

we just began
a new session
of positive playtime here
and next month here
which always 
reminds me
how essential community is

as parents
we could be stressed
beyond belief
parenting in isolation

all it takes 
to transform
the negative
to a
positive
is time spent
with other parents
who "get it"

words of wisdom
reassurance that it will
all be ok
or a tool that worked
suddenly life is positive again


community
keeps us positive


as we kick off
this week
what can you do
to give back
to your community?


or

how can you help
your community
give back to you?


because
one of the best parts
of community is
in community
giving is receiving
and
receiving is giving

asking for help
or
getting help
from your people
sustains us all
+
the circle of community

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You Got This.


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new beginnings. breathe from your gut.

4/2/2018

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the time of
renewal
rebirth
new beginnings
is upon us
​
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hope
exists
like
flowers
blossoming
on the lawn

spring
reminds
me...

we
always
have the chance
to begin anew

life
circles
back
around

try
again
becomes
the theme
of our lives

truly
this
opportunity
to begin anew
exists in
every moment

when
things
get
crazy
hard

it takes
hope
+
effort
but we
can always
try again
begin anew

how.....?
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if you're like me
you've had
some resistance
to deep breathing

i used to get annoyed
like deep breathing
was supposed 
to help me
feel all zen
when i was upset

the mere suggestion
of feeling calm
when i was
in a storm
of life
was an insult

but now 
i know 
100% for sure
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your breath
it's your life force
the power of you
squared
tripled

your breath
is your ability
to turbo-recharge
when life
gets challenging

your breath
is your ability
the power of you
to begin anew
in every moment
just like
the spring flowers

so
today
this week
when life
gets challenging
crazy hard
don't put pressure
on yourself
to feel all calm + zen
when you don't

rather
take
that
deep
belly
breath
from
your
gut

access
your
personal
strength
+
the power of you
to transform
to begin anew
in this season
of new beginnings 


You Got This.
 
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​p.s. Share the power of deep breathing with this video my son and I made for you a few years back!
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    Categories

    All
    Getting To Gold
    Positive Parenting
    Reflections
    Summer Magic

    Mama Megan

    Hi friends,  I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative."  This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!

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    Photo by J Jean Portraits

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    • Creating a Happy Home in the Pandemic
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