by Rachel Hadiashar
I used to feel
More like I hit a wall
Better than quicksand
Can be taken down
Walls are great teachers
I met a wall this week
I asked it
What do you do when you hit a wall?
This is what that wall taught me
1) Don't freak out. This is #1 for a reason. Everything else hinges on this. You freak out, you do damage to yourself (self-judgement or self-pity) or someone else (yelling, picking fights, over-reacting, withdrawing). You don't have to be totally calm. Just stay cool. Don't lose it. This too shall pass. And you'll be all the wiser if, even when you're freaking out a bit inside, you keep it cool. Don't freak out.
2) Freak out productively. This is my favorite tool, and it's not used enough in life. You take your___________(whatever it is you are feeling about your wall) and you do something creative with it. Work-out, run, dance, do yoga, paint, play music, journal, shoot hoops...do something with that angst, depression or inner turmoil you are feeling. You call the shots in life, don't let what happened to you rule you. Express it in a beautiful, artistic, athletic way....or in any way that speaks to you. Freak out productively.
3) Listen to what you need. Before you freak out productively, your heart's gotta tell you what would be a productive freak out for you. Or maybe you already know. Whether your intuition is screaming in your ear, or you are at a loss for what to do next, sink into your heart and stay quiet. Now say out loud the first positive thing you could do for yourself. Trust what you just said. Don't doubt it, do what you know you need to do for you. Listen to what you need.
4) Give it Time One day, a few months after my separation with my ex, just having found out my mom had terminal cancer, I was talking to a wise customer service woman. I could hear the wisdom in her voice. I told her what was going on with me. Asked for her advice. "Wow, I don't know," she said. "You just gotta give it time." Time takes care. Give it Time.
5) Celebrate the Wall
The process you are in right now is in an important one. It's a promise to make sense of all you are, what has happened to you, and how to still be truly you. Integration. And making sense of the walls you hit in life and the times when you feel stuck, it's all a part of life. I don't know anyone that doesn't feel stuck or like they've hit a wall from time to time. The best way to take that wall down? Throw it a party. Celebrate how far you've come and what an amazing teacher that wall is. Then watch that wall crumble and step into your forward moment of now, until the next wall appears.
When you can work with your walls, blocks, and the ways you feel stuck, you master your destiny. Remember it's not what happens to you, but what you do with it that counts.
If these words have spoken to you,could you write me a little note below?
I love hearing from you!
Have a wonderful week.
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!