by Rachel Hadiashar
A friend was sharing recently
about the power of
as a parent.
Recognizing the unique
each child has.
And especially recognizing
your children's feelings and experiences
that you wish you could change.
Your child may be
totally different from.
Or exactly like you.
And both may be triggering.
(Feeling emotionally triggered lately?
A parent in my online program
share this powerful article.)
we all value honoring our children
for who they are.
But reality is often different.
Say, your child....
* has (what seems like) daily temper tantrums
* doesn't give two cents about their homework
* clings to you every time you go anywhere,
or even leave the room
* is extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning
* has difficulty sharing
These are real life parenting struggles.
Little moments that can dominate a day,
in the negative.
Moments that cause you to want to pull your hair out.
When you wish your little ones would just "get over it."
It's hard to not take your children's behavior personally.
These issues often require "parenting scaffolding"
--a dynamic mix of magical + practical
positive parenting tools.
But for today,
one tool can begin to change your world,
and shift that problem behavior.
Simply recognize "what is" for your children.
Whatever your children are experiencing:
Don't try to change it.
Just honor _____ as part of your child's learning.
With simple emotional recognition.
Simply Recognizing Formula:
1) Notice what your child is experiencing.
Notice if you feel upset/triggered.
Stay centered in neutrally noticing what is.
Try to turn off the judgement part of your brain.
2) Neutralize it.
Consciously separate yourself from your children's experiences.
This is about them, not about you.
They have a right to their feelings and experiences.
It is not your job to change what your children are feeling.
3) Simply recognize and emotionally affirm.
Say: "You feel____,"
as if you were stating the time.
The key is....
to feel this statement
"You feel ______"
with every fiber of your being.
Let a wave of acceptance
wash over you
through Simply Recognizing
what is for your children.
"You're upset right now."
"You really want that toy."
"Getting up for school is hard in the morning."
"You'd rather play than do homework."
"You don't want to leave the park."
"You feel sad when I leave, and you miss me."
4) Pause and don't try to fix anything.
Do you know that feeling of
"this person gets me,
---even when I'm not at my best
I'm honored for who I am?"
That kind of feeling.
That is the #1 goal of Simply Recognizing.
your children's experiences
as saying what time it is,
and with the power of honoring
who they are.
Use Simply Recognizing like you mean business.
Let your emotional affirmation
hang in the air,
envelope the situation,
so it can do its magic,
to shift the moment,
by fully acknowledging
that whatever it is your children
is 100% legit.
When Simply Recognizing
has wrapped your children's challenge
in your unconditional love and acceptance,
you can move intro problem-solving,
and focusing on solutions (not punishments)
-- a parenting tool for another day.
Simply Recognizing is
deep, profound, and straight-forward.
See how even 30 seconds
of Simply Recognizing
can begin to shift
some of the most grid-locked behaviors
in your home.
We support the power of you.
Let us know how it goes!
All the best,
p.s. Every Sunday,
I send out a Parenting Star Tool:
a positive parenting tool to bring more
fun, peace & respect to your home.
Please use your best judgement,
as not every tool fits every situation.
Enjoy these tools?
Request to join
the Parenting for the Next Generation
for community support + empowerment.
Have a wonderful week!
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!