by Rachel Hadiashar
You and your positive intent are like the sun.
You're always there. Always shining.
But sometimes the clouds of life--challenges, stress, and misbehavior--
cover you up.
Positive Intent is a concept I learned about from Becky Bailey of Conscious Discipline that says,
This skill encourages us to look for the best in people and situations and focuses on viewing oppositional behavior or conflict as opportunities for teaching moments.
I say that Positive Intent is knowing in your heart that you and your children are good people.
And part of being good people is being human.
You and your children will make mistakes.
In fact, that is the way you learn.
In Positive Intent, you embrace your imperfections as what connects you to the rest of humanity, what makes you uniquely you. In this context, your mistakes are your greatest teachers and what helps you to grow and become more fully you.
Positive Intent is reality and truth. But let's face it, sometimes life feels negative.
Often, when you go to see the positive, all we can think of is what we don’t want.
The fighting, power struggles, whining, the messes, the stress, the no's, the fights...
the list may seem endlessly of the daily challenges you face.
And yet, as Conscious Discipline says, "what you focus on you get more of." This idea is also captured by this quote:
The reality is: easier said than done. It's hard to focus on the positive. The negative can certainly over-take us, or feel that way. In fact, the human brain has a negativity bias, reacting more strongly to negativity. This mechanism is designed to help keep us safe. But when life is stressful, it can make it that much harder to just think positive, regardless of all the "we create our own reality" thinking that is common in New Age and self-help circles today. In fact, it can me sometimes want to through something at this type of thinking-- as it seems to place blame on people who are having a hard time, which I know is not the goal.
What people need are steps and processes to help you honor the role of the negative in our lives. The negative--stress, challenges, pain, and misbehavior-- aren't going away anytime soon.
Honoring the challenges and letting the negative teach you and lead you to what you DO want is the goal. It is these processes and steps that I share with parents in my coaching practice. So you can learn how to transform the hard stuff in life into one of your greatest blessings, and a place of strength. So you can live your sun everyday, even when life is stormy.
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!