by Rachel Hadiashar
Encouragement is radical, revolutionary, simple and true and a main tool in Positive Discipline.
It says you are good, amazing, awesome just for being you.
Under this umbrella of your goodness, you are going to mess up, make mistakes, and get upset with your children.
You are human, and your imperfections are part of your humanity.
Do you find it challenging to embrace your imperfections?
The first step is to stop beating yourself up for learning and growing as a human.
Your mistakes are how you learn, and grow.
This is as true for grown-ups, as it is for children.
In the old way of raising and educating children (that is definitely still a part of our educational system and parenting practices), the message is this:
If you behave well, you are a good girl/boy. And if you misbehave, you are bad.
Encouragement says that's hogwash.
People are going to mess up.
I's part of being human and learning and evolving as individuals, and collectively as a people.
You are a good person, who also messes up.
Isn't that liberating?
Making people feel bad or think they're bad people for their mistakes,
at the very least creates people with insecurities.
Worst case scenario, we create bad people. For real. This is serious business putting people down for their mistakes.
So what exactly is encouragement?
Encouragement is big work!
The first step to using Encouragement with your children
is to change your inner voice to Encouragement.
How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake or have a reason to celebrate?
How can you change your inner voice to an Encouraging one?
Are you Encouraging to you?
Believe in you and your goodness, and everything else will be a-okay.
Ready for more Encouragement?
Learn about the two types of Encouragement: Noticing and Empowering.
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!