by Rachel Hadiashar
most of us are dealing
with behavior in our home
we'd like to change.
In my online class + community,
this week we've been talking about
laying the foundation for positive change.
And developing a plan to change
negative patterns of challenging behavior.
Like pre-requisites to positive change,
here are your foundational steps:
Step #1: Meet your basic needs.
Do you feel like your needs are met as parent?
On a scale of o to 10,
how would you rate your needs?
0 = Unmet needs or totally depleted
10 = Yes, I have amazing support and time + energy to take care of myself.
Where ever you are on the spectrum of needs,
what is the simplest thing you can do for you
to bring the biggest impact?
Often for moms with young children, it's simply profound things like:
* Taking a shower every day
* Getting out of the house alone
* Spending time with friends
* Setting aside 10 minutes of alone time a day
Begin to develop a simple plan to support yourself with the goal of meeting more of your basic needs, one at a time.
Step #2: Get a bird's eye view.
When your needs are met, you can see clearly.
You have access to all your wisdom.
From this place of your brilliance,
try to get above the situation
or challenging behavior.
Like a bird, picture yourself soaring
above the challenges.
From this view, you now have access
to the big picture and the greater whole.
From this viewpoint,
what do you see?
What is the big picture,
as well as the little details?
From this place of you
in your brilliance
soaring above your family's challenges,
you're ready to take action.
Stay tuned for the next positive steps.
Have a wonderful week,
You are an amazing parent,
As you begin this week,
what is one thing
you can do for you?
Something that keeps you
in the balance of you.
Because life is stressful.
It's too easy to get off balance.
To not feel good within.
That's when our children's behavior
drives us crazy.
Take it back to you.
What makes you tick.
What gets you through.
What helps you thrive.
Believe it's possible
to have your needs met.
Open up to that possibility.
And take positive action.
Baby steps count.
Get something for you
in your schedule
for this week.
-big or small-
to support you.
And the amazing parent
you are naturally,
when your needs are met.
Have a wonderful week,
The best Mother's Day gift is for mothers everywhere to have the support you need to love your life, every day. In celebration of Mother's Day, enjoy 25% off The Parenting for the Next Generation 4 Week Online Class + Community ($75 today only, $99 value) dedicated to Mother's Day, everyday! And today only, as a bonus giveaway, every person who registers today is entered into a drawing to win this set of my favorite books for families ($72 value).
Happy Mother's Day, and here's to creating world where everyday is Mother's Day!
Here's some of my favorite books for families, included in the package:
Moody Cow is a favorite in our house. He's a sweet little cow who grapples with big, real life issues--like anger and high emotions in Moody Cow Meditates and friends who are acting mean and fostering compassion for all living things in Moody Cow Learns Compassion. These crowd-pleaser children's books teach valuable life skills in a light-hearted way that acknowledges the human moments of life, while inspiring each of us to live from our calm center through everyday mindfulness.
And some of my favorite parenting books are included in this set. I use tools and theory from these books everyday in my both my life as a parent, and as a parent educator.
What I love most about Positive Discipline is how practical it is, and full of simple tools you can put to use everyday to develop capability within your children and cooperation in your home.
Parenting from the Inside Out is one of the best parenting books on the planet to understand the inner workings of the brain, in regards to being both a parent and a child. Want to changes cycles of parenting in your family? This is the book for you.
With The Whole Brain Child, learn about the "upstairs" and "downstairs" brain to help you navigate the high emotions of parenting. This book will help you navigate the roller-coaster ride of parenting.
Today only, in celebration of Mother's Day, enjoy nearly 25% off the 4 Week Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community. As an additional bonus, every family who registers for the class (today only!) is entered into a drawing for a set of my favorite books for families. Click here for more info and to register. Here's to Mother's Day everyday!
This Mother's Day, let's give the gift of ensuring all moms have their basic needs met .
Check out this short video,
for some ideas on deeply nurturing you,
and all the mamas in your life this Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day!
Give the gift of nurturing the moms in your life with
The 4 Week Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community
beginning the week of Mother's Day!
Join the community + the movement.
In celebration of The 4 Week Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community beginning on May 9th, enjoy these short video bursts of positive parenting + mindfulness tools. Click here for more info about the class and to join this awesome community of positive parents. And by the way....
Then try this!
In this video, my son and I show you a simple tool to transform cycles of yelling in your home and teach respectful communication.
Step 1: Take a deep breath and get as calm as you can.
Step 2: If possible, go over to your child, get on their level, and make eye contact.
Step 3: Affirm child's emotion or what they want.
Step 4: Think: "What exactly what DO I want my child to be saying right now?"
Step 5: Say to your child , "Say, _____(the phrase you want them to say). In the video it was:
"Say: Mom, can you please help me get a carrot?"
Step 6: Have your child repeat the more positive phrase back to you.
This simple tool helps your child practice positive and respectful communication and helps you say goodbye to yelling matches, tears, and power struggles.
You may need to repeat this tool 10 or more times a day...
The reality is parenting is a lot of work!
Having a supportive community behind you can make all the difference in your parenting world. For more positive parenting + mindfulness tools, and a phenomenal community of positive parents, join The Parenting for the Next Generation 4 Week Online Class + Community beginning this Monday.
When I was a kid,
I loved to play limbo.
My sister could limbo
on roller skates.
Parenting is like that some days.
Limbo-ing on roller skates.
Sometimes you gotta lower the bar
and roll on through.
A Positive PlayTime mom
reminded me of
The power of lowering
She said it was often easier
when she didn't necessarily
expect her children
to behave, listen, or cooperate.
Lowering your expectations
can be a really smart
While Positive Intent
is essential in parenting,
attachment to the way
we think things should be,
usually sets us back.
And results in our children's
tantrums, tears, or power struggles.
So ease up, my friends.
Know you & your children
are good people.
But stress way less
about the way you think
they should be acting
or life should be going.
My #1 way to
lower your expectations...
Think of what you need to do.
And with wild abandon
throw everything off that list
that is not essential.
Or even take 1,2,or 3 things of your list.
How to judge what is essential?
Think basic needs.
Everything that's not related
to basic needs,
cross it off,
and let it go.
Lower your expectations,
just like lowering
that limbo bar.
Hop on your roller skates,
and glide on by.
Lowering your expectations is power.
Have a wonderful week,
p.s. Looking for more tools to Unlock Your Parenting Power?
Join The Parenting for the Next Generation Online Class + Community
beginning May 9th. Register here.
Hi friends, I write from the heart to tell my life story, and the story of those in my neighborhood called life. Research shows that our children's emotional & mental health is contingent upon us parents being able to tell our life story, or "coherent narrative." This is my coherent narrative, my life story in the making, with some of what I love in life too. My goal is to share my life in a way that is real, uplifting & positive- sometimes serious, sometimes fun. In my practice, I inspire parents to empowerment through reclaiming our life stories and learning respectful discipline. My work is my offering to our children- our future. Wishing you all a happy family!